Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
