Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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