I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
