Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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