I want to walk on stilts...naked
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
