Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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