your thong is hanging out like whoa
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
