Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
