I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
