Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
