i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Panties = found
Randomize
