at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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