i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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