So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize