y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
