Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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