Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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