The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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