i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
