it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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