Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
