He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
