i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
