then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
