I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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