I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
