i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
