I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Where is the hickey?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
