Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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