This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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