You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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Bring me that man meat
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize