You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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