MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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