I will die if light touches me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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