i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
