i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
