please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
