so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she peed on how many people?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
