New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
