I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
