whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I touched a dick in church today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
