my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize