if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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