Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize