i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
