i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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