One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
