I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
