i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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