Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
