i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
