when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
