Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
