When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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