I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
