I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
