I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There r osticjed everywhere
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
