3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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