but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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